“Ladies with an attitude; fellas that were in the mood.”
It's a line of defiance, frivolity and fun, and the opening quote to Michael Griffiths' cabaret show In Vogue: Songs by Madonna.
Appearing for the first time at Adelaide's Feast Festival, the Jersey Boys performer takes on the Queen of Pop’s persona and gives you an autobiography of her life through songs in Madge’s 30-year music catalogue.
Sitting at a piano, Griffiths reaches for Madonna's diary that is used to record all her thoughts, which he says helps with the writing process.
“Advil, Crest, oh that’s a shopping list” he says, before reciting a collection of random Madonna lyrics.
Delving into Madonna's love life, Griffiths intertwines True Blue and Papa Don’t Preach to address the marriage of Madonna and her first husband Sean Penn, famous for his temper, and her father's disapproval.
“Sean wanted a clifftop wedding, an outdoor wedding, and impossible to keep the press away wedding," Griffiths said.
"As two helicopters circled and Sean two fired two warning shots at them, I just felt like the luckiest girl in the world."
Once the marriage fizzled in the late 80s and Madonna went on the prowl in a man-eating rage, she realised she wanted a baby more than the man who could give one to her. Enter Lourdes’ father Carlos, a “hot latino turkey baster” Madonna found running around Central Park. Playing a melody reminiscent of Coldplay’s Clocks, Griffiths sings Substitute for Love, Like a Virgin and Ray of Light.
Griffiths flares the supremacy battle between Madonna and Lady Gaga; he claims Madonna “leased” the dance floor to the Born This Way singer for about a year, before Gaga's recent stint in hospital and noted weight gain.
“The poor thing broke her hip and got fat,” he said in a smarmy tone.
With slicked hair, a fitted white shirt, braces and tan shoes, Griffiths looks every part the crooner. Throw in some crossed legs, a limp hand and a flirty look in his eye saying “am I a virgin, or am I a whore?”, this show will remind every girl, gay, and closet straight male fan to express themselves.
Just like a prayer, Griffiths takes you there.
In Vogue: Songs By Madonna is on until Saturday, November 23, 2013. For more information visit www.feast.org.au